NLP Weekly: Motivation Banking. Analog Adventures.

NLP Weekly: Making your leadership & performance second nature.  

Performance: Motivation Banking

"I need help with motivating myself," says everyone at some point in their life. (We also often say it about someone else in our lives: a sales person, an employee, a friend, a child, someone that we wish would make a positive change).

Here's the thing about motivation. It is strongest after we do the thing, after we get the result. One of my clients goes to a martial arts class on Tuesday and Thursday nights. They voiced how one of the hardest parts of their week is finding the motivation to go at 7:30pm on a dark, cold, rainy Thursday night. It's near the end of the week. Friday's social plans are insight. A weekend full of taxiing kids to activities looms... 

"At the end of class on Tuesday night, how do you feel? How interested & focused are you in advancing a new technique you just learnt? How much do you want to experience connection again? How much are you looking forward to Thursday's class after Tuesday's?"

The answer? "Very."

Tip: to motivate ourselves we often need to remind ourselves of how we felt when we achieved something. When you feel motivation, type a note into your phone about the feeling, what you're looking forward to, about the achievement. Take a screenshot. Save it in a folder.

Want to go next level? When people in your life applaud you, thank you, celebrate you, your achievements, your unique awesomeness via text or email. Screenshot those. Put them in the same folder. When you need motivation look at them. Schedule 5 - 10 minutes each week to review those things.

Now, if you're thinking that sounds like a ridiculous thing to do for yourself, tell me, why is it a really good idea for the "other" person who needs motivation you're thinking of right now and not you?

Leadership: Declare Diligently 

When I start a new coaching relationship one of the first things I share are what the client might perceive as me not being present:

• We have 6 animals in our family. 3 outdoor. 2 indoor. 1 indoor / outdoor. The indoor animals often like to be in my office during the day. 2 of them may want to be let in and out of the room during a call. If I walk off screen, I'm opening and closing a door. I'm here. I'm listening. 
• I take very detailed notes to make sure I capture the important things you say. If I am looking down, I am writing notes (not looking at my phone).
• Our sessions have curated themes. I have questions for those themes and the corresponding worksheets open beside the video window. If it looks like I am looking away, I am looking at the materials we're focused on together.

I have never received pushback and no client has ever asked if I am paying attention after making those declarations. Now, I also need to back up that with behaviour as evidence that I am present and engaged.

A client this week had a challenge with a team member in an account management role this week who is generally pensive & stoic. The challenge is that their clients have provided feedback / questioned whether this team member is interested and wants to be working on their account.

There are no performance issues. There's a perceived enthusiasm issue. I asked "has the Account Manager had declared their natural tendencies to their Clients?" I used my examples above that my client had themselves experienced.

Action plan here is to:

• Account Manager to declare to their Client their natural tendencies.
• Coach the AM to develop relationship marketing skills that are key to success in their role.

Declaring doesn't let you off the hook. It creates understanding.

Nature: Analog Adventures

If you don't know what I mean by analog go here. We live in an ever-increasing digitally connected world. The pace of technology is crazy right now. Ready for this? ChatGPT was publicly announced on November 30, 2022. That wasn't three years ago. It was barely two years ago.

Yes, you need to learn about the impact of these technologies and how to leverage them.

At the same time, the industrial revolution didn't fully replace the horse. (I would know. The 3 outdoor animals are horses.) Cattle rearing still requires horses. Accessing some of the most remarkable parts of our planet are best, if not only, done on horseback - like my honeymoon safari through the Okavango Delta in Botswana.

The opportunities to put our phones down and find a better connection are easily available. Robin Sharma puts his phone away for 24 hours every. single. week. He also doesn't have school age children...

Some of you will know that I have spent 10 consecutive days outside of cell range every year since 2010. The benefits of disconnecting from technology are part of the reason I created Wild Walks Wilderness Coaching. We are 200kms and 6 - 8 hours from a cell phone signal at all times. (I carry satellite devices for safety.)

Your leadership, your performance, and frankly, your happiness needs you to put your phone down. It needs you go analog for at least a few hours each week. Ideally 20' 3x per week in nature. 5 hours per month in nature. 3 days per year in wilderness.

Tips to put your phone down:

• Hide & Require Passcode for social media apps.
  • This will create unbelievable friction in accessing apps that are stealing your focus. You can't even search for the app on your phone to open it. You need to go to the App Store, click Open, then enter your Passcode.
  • Setting a screen time limit won't do it. It's too easy to hit "Ignore Limit for Today". Our lesser selves need more discipline, better system, and yes, more friction.
• Read Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention and How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari
• Commit to an outdoor adventure every 1 - 2 months. 
  • If you do this, I would LOVE to know what analog adventures you're having.

After your analog adventure, create a motivation bank so you'll want to do it again. 

Declare your analog adventure to others. If going off-grid, have a check in partner.

Get outside.

-Graham