NLP Weekly: Elephants Can Hear Clouds Move

NLP Weekly: Making your leadership & performance second nature.  

Performance: The Power of Positive Self-Talk

I forgot the importance of positive self-talk. True story.

When elite athletes push their limits, the difference between breaking a record and falling short often lies in what’s happening in their minds. I recently read Endure by Alex Hutchinson. He explains how much of an athlete's physical performance is shaped by their mental strategies—especially self-talk. For example, long-distance runners who used phrases like “I can keep going” or “I’ve got this” reported feeling less fatigue and performed better than those whose internal dialogue was neutral or negative.

Positive self-talk isn’t limited to athletics. It’s a cornerstone of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a psychological approach used to help people reframe negative thought patterns. CBT teaches individuals to identify automatic negative thoughts and replace them with constructive, affirming ones. This shift doesn’t just reduce stress—it improves focus, motivation, and performance across all areas of life.

The secret lies in repetition and intentionality. Elite athletes practice drills. You can train your brain to adopt empowering self-talk. Over time, these reframed thoughts become your new default.

Recently on a run, I found myself saying aloud: I'm getting better. I'm getting stronger. I'm getting. I'm getting faster. I'm getting fitter. And then at some point, I added "I am in control."

Here’s your invitation: For the next week, when you notice yourself engaging in positive self-talk (i.e. "hey, that was easier than I thought it would be", pause, acknowledge it, ask yourself: 

• What else could I say to myself right now?
• How could I deepen what I am positively saying to myself?
• Where else in my life would I benefit from positive self-talk?
• What would my biggest fans say to me? 

Once you know the answers. Create the time to say them out loud. Rinse. Repeat.

Leadership: How You Speak Matters as Much as What You Say

Earlier this week, a client was talking about an aspiration and goal they have of getting to the next level. However, their language, vocabulary, and tone did not match their aspiration. I challenged them on both what they said and how they said it. Ultimately, how they rephrased it was their most impactful takeaway from the session.

Effective leadership isn’t just about delivering the right message; it’s about understanding the tone, timing, and emotional context behind how people speak. Are they hesitant? Confident? Frustrated? Motivated?Does their tonality, gestures, facial expression align with the communicated emotion? The words might say one thing, but the delivery often says much more.

As a leader, you also need to consider how you speak. The same sentence can inspire, alienate, or just outright miss depending on your tone and approach. For example, saying, “Let me know if you need help” might sound neutral, but adding warmth—“I’m here. How can I help you?”—makes a world of difference.

This week, give intentional attention to the nuances in conversations, and think intentionally about how your tone and word choices impact others. Great leaders don’t just speak well—they listen even better.

Nature: What Elephants Teach Us About Listening

Elephants can hear clouds move. It’s true.

Elephants are capable of detecting the subtlest vibrations in the air and ground, allowing them to sense changes in weather, approaching danger, or even distant calls from their herd.

Their ability to “listen deeply” is an incredible survival skill. It’s something we can learn from. While we may not need to detect storms, the art of listening—truly listening—can transform our lives and the lives of those me impact and care about. More than survive, we and our relationships thrive.

Listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about noticing the pauses, the inflection, the nuance and the unspoken emotions behind them (i.e. when someone speeds past or lowers the volume of their voice when saying something important and most often positive about themselves). 

Listening allows you to pick up on valuable feedback or ideas you might have missed. It enables you to ask better questions, to be curious, to connect honestly. For leaders, listening fosters trust, understanding, and better decision-making.

Connect with your inner elephant. In your next conversation, resist the urge to interrupt or think about your response while someone is speaking. If you practice "active listening", please stop (more on that later). Instead, focus entirely on listening. You might be surprised by what you “hear” between the lines.

Unsure about something or how it was said? Ask for clarity.

You conversations will improve. Promise.

-Graham